I don't have time for this! I have cookies to make, packages to acquire and wrap, parties to attend and even extra birthdays to celebrate. What in the world am I doing deciding that two days before Christmas I'm going to do some serious spot cleaning of my carpets? No one will notice the same stain I've stepped over hundreds of times in the past few weeks... why now?
I don't have a really good answer, I wish I did. I just know that every time something gets rearranged in one room or shifted about for certain holidays I find myself insisting that I clean under, behind, around and through whatever items are moved. I always find dust, goldfish, electronics pieces and whatnot so I know the cleaning is needed. Maybe I'm just aware on some secret inner level that I'm just not going to intentionally move everything in my house in some massive Spring Cleaning Binge (tm) a la my mother.
The garland goes up and the cobwebs come down. The mistletoe is tied, the cords are untangled. The tree goes up, my endtable gets moved and rubbed down with oil. Its a nice balance of cleaning out the old for the new events in my life. I'm a little ashamed of just exactly how many cobwebs I find, but at least I chase them down every so often. My family only sees the lights, the Christmas Village and the super secret graham cracker crisps I make.
Of course, they make fun of me for the move and clean mania, but ultimately my dust bunnies aren't dust dinosaurs. That's good enough for me.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
The Great House Detective & Pebble Cleaning
Certainly I can tell you that my husband had shredded wheat (new package needed to be cut open with scissors) this morning and that he enjoyed a beer last night. I can also add one clementine to the list of foods my son has eaten, but not because he told me. No - I am the Great House Detective and my powers to discern always amaze my family, but its really not that mysterious. I simply look around.
I see the top of the package lying next to the scissors, the bottle cap of the beer and the opener, and the bowl with the peel of the clementine all strewn care-free around my kitchen. But it isn't care free for me! Seriously, I find myself struggling to be patient because I am a Domestic Goddess - not a garbage woman!
Somewhere along the line I developed the ability to toss trash out with a flick of my wrist as I turned and checked the soup on the stove. I learned that as I leave one room I anticipate where I'm going and take something that belongs in my destination and put it away. Apparently this isn't a skill that is taught in the industrialized education system, but it surely should be! With the plethora of house cleaning, house organization, and "time saver" techniques in the media (think "Clean House") it is plainly obvious that our society needs to gets its act cleaned up. Trouble is, we just don't know how!
Rather than moving things around (again!) perhaps it is time that we learn to rearrange our thoughts into patterns that support our lives rather than pull at the loose threads on the edge.
I like to think of this method as "Pebble Cleaning," based on the story of the thirsty crow and the water. The story goes that a thirsty crow spied a glass of water. It held only a little cooling liquid and the bird couldn't get his head into the glass. So - one by one he added pebbles to the glass until the water rose to the level where he could drink easily. Each action we take impacts our world and each motion we make to raise the level of our homes gives us satisfaction in the bigger picture. Tossing that trash is more than just helpful, its a pebble in the waters!
The little picture shows me a scattering of objects, but I can see these objects because I slowly moved all of the mail, kid artwork, random drill bits, newspaper, empty bag and dirty cups from that counter prior to my husband's breakfast and my son's snack. I don't remember doing this, but I know that during the day as I headed for the bathroom I'd grab the tape that belonged on my desk and drop it off on the way through the room. Pebble Cleaning at its best.
I'm no saint, so don't get me wrong here. My home's constant state of evolving clutter means I rarely think my home is "done" or "clean." I've just learned that removing cleaning from living and setting it aside as a separate and dreaded task just makes me not clean at all. I resent the time, the intrusion and the effort. I even detest the thought of "Saturday cleaning." Clean as I move around though and it seems less hateful, like I'm just living my life amid my things and this is what life takes - order and a little maintenance.
I am still not the garbage woman, and I asked my family to clean up their trash. The amazement of me spying it there in the first place is still there, but I continue to try to instill in them that there is no maid. Adjusting their thinking toward Pebble Cleaning and simply doing the job of life is what the lesson becomes. Resenting the intrusion of cleaning on our "lives" leads down some rather dingy and crowded corridors of ignoring what it takes to really live. If you don't want to clean up stuff, don't have stuff at all! (Minimalism isn't their style though! lol)
I see the top of the package lying next to the scissors, the bottle cap of the beer and the opener, and the bowl with the peel of the clementine all strewn care-free around my kitchen. But it isn't care free for me! Seriously, I find myself struggling to be patient because I am a Domestic Goddess - not a garbage woman!
Somewhere along the line I developed the ability to toss trash out with a flick of my wrist as I turned and checked the soup on the stove. I learned that as I leave one room I anticipate where I'm going and take something that belongs in my destination and put it away. Apparently this isn't a skill that is taught in the industrialized education system, but it surely should be! With the plethora of house cleaning, house organization, and "time saver" techniques in the media (think "Clean House") it is plainly obvious that our society needs to gets its act cleaned up. Trouble is, we just don't know how!
Rather than moving things around (again!) perhaps it is time that we learn to rearrange our thoughts into patterns that support our lives rather than pull at the loose threads on the edge.
I like to think of this method as "Pebble Cleaning," based on the story of the thirsty crow and the water. The story goes that a thirsty crow spied a glass of water. It held only a little cooling liquid and the bird couldn't get his head into the glass. So - one by one he added pebbles to the glass until the water rose to the level where he could drink easily. Each action we take impacts our world and each motion we make to raise the level of our homes gives us satisfaction in the bigger picture. Tossing that trash is more than just helpful, its a pebble in the waters!
The little picture shows me a scattering of objects, but I can see these objects because I slowly moved all of the mail, kid artwork, random drill bits, newspaper, empty bag and dirty cups from that counter prior to my husband's breakfast and my son's snack. I don't remember doing this, but I know that during the day as I headed for the bathroom I'd grab the tape that belonged on my desk and drop it off on the way through the room. Pebble Cleaning at its best.
I'm no saint, so don't get me wrong here. My home's constant state of evolving clutter means I rarely think my home is "done" or "clean." I've just learned that removing cleaning from living and setting it aside as a separate and dreaded task just makes me not clean at all. I resent the time, the intrusion and the effort. I even detest the thought of "Saturday cleaning." Clean as I move around though and it seems less hateful, like I'm just living my life amid my things and this is what life takes - order and a little maintenance.
I am still not the garbage woman, and I asked my family to clean up their trash. The amazement of me spying it there in the first place is still there, but I continue to try to instill in them that there is no maid. Adjusting their thinking toward Pebble Cleaning and simply doing the job of life is what the lesson becomes. Resenting the intrusion of cleaning on our "lives" leads down some rather dingy and crowded corridors of ignoring what it takes to really live. If you don't want to clean up stuff, don't have stuff at all! (Minimalism isn't their style though! lol)
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
From Bad Fruit to Smoothie Sailing
It is inevitable that the bunch of bananas that looked like just enough at the store are left on the counter by the family untouched. I see the brown spots begin and I know its a rush to eat 'em, but then we're going out of town this next weekend. I face those bananas (and maybe the leftover fruit at the bottom of my crisper) with dread. I feel like a failure as a healthy mom since Nature's good foods just sit and rot. I'm supposed to think of great ways to encourage them to eat & enjoy these foods, so what went wrong?
I searched my brain and found I'd been inventive, creative, encouraging and healthy. The mashed potatoes on the Shepherd's Pie have cauliflower in them, the beef stroganoff is over high fiber noodles with low-fat sour cream, and there are more veggies at every meal than meats/starches. I've kept my fruits seasonal, local, and listened to what the family wanted to see in that little wooden bowl. I'd done everything right - we just had too much fruit. The lesson for me here is that its not always that I've failed, but that I've succeeded too well in providing available and easy foods that are healthy.
Often I assume there's some clue I don't have in making things work, but the reality is that I'm assuming a lack in myself rather than a simple state of being. I've got fruit going bad. If I start with just that thought, then my mind quickly jumps to "what can we do with it" rather than the self-defeating "I've messed up" thoughts that begin when I see the fruit as my fault.
So what did I do? I peeled the bananas and cut them into thick slices which were frozen individually on a piece of waxed paper. When they were solid I put them in a freezer bag labeled and dated. The last of the strawberries and some blueberries I found on super sale also went the wax paper / freezer route. These will make fabulous smoothies for my son and I after a hard day of home schooling and we can talk about frugal living and nutrition while we do it.
The obstacles to the smoothies were all in my attitude of martyrdom and personal lack of confidence. A deep breath and a fresh look at the not-so-fresh fruit gave me a chance to take a different approach, make a different choice on how this little event impacts my day.
I searched my brain and found I'd been inventive, creative, encouraging and healthy. The mashed potatoes on the Shepherd's Pie have cauliflower in them, the beef stroganoff is over high fiber noodles with low-fat sour cream, and there are more veggies at every meal than meats/starches. I've kept my fruits seasonal, local, and listened to what the family wanted to see in that little wooden bowl. I'd done everything right - we just had too much fruit. The lesson for me here is that its not always that I've failed, but that I've succeeded too well in providing available and easy foods that are healthy.
Often I assume there's some clue I don't have in making things work, but the reality is that I'm assuming a lack in myself rather than a simple state of being. I've got fruit going bad. If I start with just that thought, then my mind quickly jumps to "what can we do with it" rather than the self-defeating "I've messed up" thoughts that begin when I see the fruit as my fault.
So what did I do? I peeled the bananas and cut them into thick slices which were frozen individually on a piece of waxed paper. When they were solid I put them in a freezer bag labeled and dated. The last of the strawberries and some blueberries I found on super sale also went the wax paper / freezer route. These will make fabulous smoothies for my son and I after a hard day of home schooling and we can talk about frugal living and nutrition while we do it.
The obstacles to the smoothies were all in my attitude of martyrdom and personal lack of confidence. A deep breath and a fresh look at the not-so-fresh fruit gave me a chance to take a different approach, make a different choice on how this little event impacts my day.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Household Appliance Geek
Hi, my name is Scarlett and I'm a Household Appliance Geek. I know this because I nodded in sage understanding as my friend uttered the phrase, "Well if we want the patches can be done at my house. I have a Rowenta." My eyes lit up and I felt a little envy, the kind that makes you want to save pennies to purchase the hot little number my friend possessed. In that moment, my geek-dom was revealed in true form.
Rowena is a particularly powerful and precise iron. Now mind you, I don't iron if I can avoid it, rewash it, or otherwise pretend like wrinkled is "in" this year, but I admire a Rowena. This machine, and its counterparts all over my home, epitomize the ideal form of quality that I enjoy collecting -- the kind meant to save me effort. I can be very supportive of saving myself effort but not particularly of spending the small chunk an iron like that will cost. It has taken time and much of the words I ignored from my mother to learn that quality appliances are well worth the money in the long run - penny-pinching step aside! That being said, I'm still not going to rush out and buy a Rowena. *sigh* I know myself well enough to realize that I just will not iron, so buying an expensive albeit fabulous iron won't make it any better no matter how much I try to wish it to be true.
Appliances in my home where I've invested rather than scrimped include: washer/dryer; dishwasher; convection oven; outdoor grill and my bed. Yup - a bed. I spent more on it than I ever really wanted to spend, but since I spend nearly eight (okay - more like 6, but who counts?) hours a night there I consider it an investment in my health. The convection oven, however, was actually more of an investment in my home's value. One of the few areas where improvements in a home return to you is in the kitchen and the bath - so I spent a little more to have an oven I love while I'm here and one that will sell well when the time comes. Each item is considered on my daily usage, quality for price paid, durability, functionality for me (does it suit how I use the machine), etc.
Knowing which appliances are quality goods probably makes me a bit of a brand monger in the end, but I'm okay with this fact. It means I know what I want and what is worth my time. Afterall, my time is very valuable!
Rowena is a particularly powerful and precise iron. Now mind you, I don't iron if I can avoid it, rewash it, or otherwise pretend like wrinkled is "in" this year, but I admire a Rowena. This machine, and its counterparts all over my home, epitomize the ideal form of quality that I enjoy collecting -- the kind meant to save me effort. I can be very supportive of saving myself effort but not particularly of spending the small chunk an iron like that will cost. It has taken time and much of the words I ignored from my mother to learn that quality appliances are well worth the money in the long run - penny-pinching step aside! That being said, I'm still not going to rush out and buy a Rowena. *sigh* I know myself well enough to realize that I just will not iron, so buying an expensive albeit fabulous iron won't make it any better no matter how much I try to wish it to be true.
Appliances in my home where I've invested rather than scrimped include: washer/dryer; dishwasher; convection oven; outdoor grill and my bed. Yup - a bed. I spent more on it than I ever really wanted to spend, but since I spend nearly eight (okay - more like 6, but who counts?) hours a night there I consider it an investment in my health. The convection oven, however, was actually more of an investment in my home's value. One of the few areas where improvements in a home return to you is in the kitchen and the bath - so I spent a little more to have an oven I love while I'm here and one that will sell well when the time comes. Each item is considered on my daily usage, quality for price paid, durability, functionality for me (does it suit how I use the machine), etc.
Knowing which appliances are quality goods probably makes me a bit of a brand monger in the end, but I'm okay with this fact. It means I know what I want and what is worth my time. Afterall, my time is very valuable!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Expect the unexpected...
I got called into work on Saturday and pulled an 80-hour week that meant cancelling my vacation and Father’s Day plans. Now I’ve got projects to work on at home over the weekend and into next week. Let me explain.
If I were employed at a different address than the one I list as my home then most people would make sad noises about how awful my boss is and that I should be getting overtime. As I work and live in the same building, the assumptions seem to change and I become just another good hearted soul who maybe “should” do these things. The expectation that someone perform these duties can, in my experience, build resentment for the job and the patient. Maybe I am good hearted, but mostly it is what I do because my job here at the house specifically includes being available for emergencies. I take care of the people around me and that means that on a Saturday afternoon I can get called away from my scrapbooking and into the hospital to take care of a friend who had lived with us and celebrated holidays, birthdays, and occasional lunches with our family.
She began having seizures six or more times a day and could not be left alone in the hospital, so it became necessary that I stay with her. My job in the hospital included: managing her medical care, talking with doctors, assisting with meals, finding a dietician when the gluten-free diet was forgotten, contacting employers and family, and bringing the daily comforts that make life easier – like hazelnut creamer and really good coffee. I tried to keep her in good spirits and provide emotional support (and practical next-steps) when she felt discouraged. One of the things I did was begin to write down an abbreviated medical history and list of emergency / family phone numbers. At home I typed it up and it is now tucked in with the friend’s driver license. She cannot talk during the seizures and good samaritans might need that information. I have a similar but less detailed contact sheet for my son that includes his allergies, pediatrician, insurance information, and common phone numbers to find family members.
My home duties didn’t change very much during this overtime at the hospital. My son still needed to be dropped off for summer camp, picked up from summer camp and lunches prepared. The rest of the family still needed to eat in the evenings. Thankfully I had already planned what needed to be made for nutritious and interesting lunches at camp and the frozen dinners I’d made a month ago were just a quick warming away from dinner served. I’m so glad I listened to the advice about thinking ahead for busy times! The 20 min to make those meals saved me hours of stress while I was in the hospital room.
I couldn’t have spent the time at the hospital with our friend if my family hadn’t pitched in! I do my best to make such events as stress free as possible, but truly they stepped up to the plate. My family does a fantastic job of finding their own way around the kitchen and even picking up on some of my chores like laundry when I’m busy elsewhere.
I am the one who goes to the hospital because I’m good at it and because we choose to have someone (me) available for such events. There is no obligation to be at the beck and call of family (at least not in this system), but it is our choice to support the people who form our community because we believe in intentional community. I did not resent my time at the hospital with our friend and neither did my family. I knew that there were limits of what I could do and my family knew I would not abandon them. Knowing exactly what is expected of me as a Domestic Goddess (via my job description) put reasonable limits on the time I could spend away from home.
I did not get any overtime for my long week of work and I lost my vacation time in the process, but I reclaimed vacation time in small bits here and there over the next few weeks with the help of my family. My bosses appreciated my efforts and supported both my absence and my return. My family intends to live in a world where caretakers are given the resources to do their jobs because it is good for everyone. So far paying me to be a Domestic Goddess has allowed us to live our principles.
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