Uncompromisingly Lazy & Proud

My husband gave me a compliment but I thought he was poking fun at me. He said I was "uncompromisingly lazy" in the bestest way. I had started our conversation after cleaning the kitchen top to bottom in a rare show of get-it-done-all-at-once-ness when I realized that I was brilliant.

Step 1: Microwave glass bowl w/ some water for 1 min.
Step 2: Remove bowl, place knobs from oven/stovetop in hot water.
Step 3: Wipe out steamed interior of microwave to remove baked on foods EASILY.
Step 4: Wipe off loosened dirt from knobs and reapply to stovetop.
Step 5: Find something lazy to enjoy.

Now that's an awful lot of work for someone who's lazy, but consider the "uncompromising" part first. I'm not willing to settle for not doing or partway doing anything I set my mind to accomplish. So - the kitchen was going to get cleaned, I just do a little quick figuring of what tasks naturally go together to help one another (and me) get done in a jiffy.

Other two-step pairs that I love:

Use garbage can as mop bucket - floors / garbage can cleaned.
Use dirty dishrag to scrub those floor stains (with your toe, no bending over here!) - cleans the floor before mopping / uses dirty rag rather than clean one.

Any other ideas?

My time is valuable, and today I acted like it. I respected myself and my space by using every ounce of what I've got (mind and matter) to make the world go in the direction I want. Maybe its a small victory, after all the inside of microwaves and stove knobs just aren't that big of a deal in most people's world.

Today, they're clean in my world and I realized that I put more thought into my job as a Domestic Goddess than many people put into their work or lives. I combine trips and pick the best route to reach that pharmacy with sideways parking and the grocery store that is always situated on my way home. I do these things by choice, decision and with intentional and uncompromising laziness. I work very hard to accomplish things quickly so that every moment of life can be joyous and something I choose to engage.

Don't get me wrong here, I don't rush through my life wishing it all away. I simply make work as elegantly organized as play so that I get more done for less work. I'm entirely "disinclined to work" as the dictionary puts it. I'd rather be reading a fabulous book while curled up on the comfy chair.

The Great House Detective & Pebble Cleaning

Certainly I can tell you that my husband had shredded wheat (new package needed to be cut open with scissors) this morning and that he enjoyed a beer last night. I can also add one clementine to the list of foods my son has eaten, but not because he told me. No - I am the Great House Detective and my powers to discern always amaze my family, but its really not that mysterious. I simply look around.

I see the top of the package lying next to the scissors, the bottle cap of the beer and the opener, and the bowl with the peel of the clementine all strewn care-free around my kitchen. But it isn't care free for me! Seriously, I find myself struggling to be patient because I am a Domestic Goddess - not a garbage woman!

Somewhere along the line I developed the ability to toss trash out with a flick of my wrist as I turned and checked the soup on the stove. I learned that as I leave one room I anticipate where I'm going and take something that belongs in my destination and put it away. Apparently this isn't a skill that is taught in the industrialized education system, but it surely should be! With the plethora of house cleaning, house organization, and "time saver" techniques in the media (think "Clean House") it is plainly obvious that our society needs to gets its act cleaned up. Trouble is, we just don't know how!

Rather than moving things around (again!) perhaps it is time that we learn to rearrange our thoughts into patterns that support our lives rather than pull at the loose threads on the edge.

I like to think of this method as "Pebble Cleaning," based on the story of the thirsty crow and the water. The story goes that a thirsty crow spied a glass of water. It held only a little cooling liquid and the bird couldn't get his head into the glass. So - one by one he added pebbles to the glass until the water rose to the level where he could drink easily. Each action we take impacts our world and each motion we make to raise the level of our homes gives us satisfaction in the bigger picture. Tossing that trash is more than just helpful, its a pebble in the waters!

The little picture shows me a scattering of objects, but I can see these objects because I slowly moved all of the mail, kid artwork, random drill bits, newspaper, empty bag and dirty cups from that counter prior to my husband's breakfast and my son's snack. I don't remember doing this, but I know that during the day as I headed for the bathroom I'd grab the tape that belonged on my desk and drop it off on the way through the room. Pebble Cleaning at its best.

I'm no saint, so don't get me wrong here. My home's constant state of evolving clutter means I rarely think my home is "done" or "clean." I've just learned that removing cleaning from living and setting it aside as a separate and dreaded task just makes me not clean at all. I resent the time, the intrusion and the effort. I even detest the thought of "Saturday cleaning." Clean as I move around though and it seems less hateful, like I'm just living my life amid my things and this is what life takes - order and a little maintenance.

I am still not the garbage woman, and I asked my family to clean up their trash. The amazement of me spying it there in the first place is still there, but I continue to try to instill in them that there is no maid. Adjusting their thinking toward Pebble Cleaning and simply doing the job of life is what the lesson becomes. Resenting the intrusion of cleaning on our "lives" leads down some rather dingy and crowded corridors of ignoring what it takes to really live. If you don't want to clean up stuff, don't have stuff at all! (Minimalism isn't their style though! lol)

"Sweep" Investing for the Dometic Goddess

I swept the kitchen floor today from one end to the other and dreamed about investing. Really, it all started with the crumbly feet-leavings that collected on my floor in one day. I don’t like to sweep, so I avoid it whenever possible but today I just wanted the floor not to crunch under foot. Always curious, I swept and contemplated the boards beneath the bristles. What buy-in would it take for me to see sweeping (or really any other odorous household chore) as something valuable in the grand scheme of things?

It was better than making an appointment with a financial advisor for helping me get a little perspective on my ideas of investing. Everyone I know thinks about getting the most fun and use out of their hard earned green bucks and I'm certainly right in there among them. I keep looking at interest rates, property values, 401k, discount stores, thrift stores and coupons and wondering if I’m doing enough. What can I do as a DG and a mom about taking the value and money and nurturing them into growing? Well… that depends on who you ask and who you believe about your own powers over your own corner of the Universe.

I’m managing my investment in the flooring by sweeping. One of my girlfriends is in property management and I get to listen to the detailed crimes of her tenants as they do incredibly silly things frequently doing damage to the property she is using to make her living. If I were renting this space strictly as an investment property I would have pretty stringent rules about what my tenants would be required to do for maintenance.

My family pays for the space in and around our home and it should be considered a valuable investment which we monitor constantly as opposed to looking up just before we want to move and saying, "oops, that's going to cost us." I have the power to extend the life of my floors, or as the flooring industry says, "use expectancy." "Use expectancy" is simply a fancy term used by the flooring industry to give a sense of how long their product might be with my family. I rarely listen to the flooring salesman's spiel and consider simply that such terms translate in my Universe as fewer calls to have my carpet stretched or cleaned, my hardwoods refinished, or my linoleum replaced. Proper floor care - yes this includes reading and following proper care instructions! - can earn you maybe as much as 20% more on your flooring's useful life. That's an extra 3-5 years for carpeting and hardwood.

New floors for my kitchen would require an outlay of $2200. If the builder spent that much on flooring when he built it (which I doubt), then I've gotten about 20 years out of the floors. My calculator tells me that the cost spread over the years turns out to be $110 or so a month for my kitchen floors. Shorten that to 12 years with poor upkeep and the cost per month goes to $183. The yearly difference might seem small at a measly $73, but imagine getting floors that are a grade or two nicer (or just exactly what you wanted instead of not quite) with that money because you know that you won't need to replace floors until your children want to move back in. Alternatively just imagine setting aside $73 for a small improvement that makes your home easier to live in -- like cabinet pulls or a new screen door. (By the way, over my lifetime that is an average of 3 floor replacements!)

It's not just that I am spending money but I am spending the most valuable resource in my Universe -- me. Every time I must manage a project on this scale there is research into materials, labor, sources, ecological and ethical impact, and even the timing of not having the use of my kitchen. It is an inconvenience that will waste 3-4 days at minimum while the floor is cleared, laid, and then I reinstall myself and my utensils in the kitchen with a few days after for cleaning the dust and grime from every corner.

My Universe revolves around me (or at least that's what I believe and I don't listen when people try to tell me otherwise, they're unimportant in my Universe, so who cares?!). I influence everything I touch with my attitude and my action, or even in some cases my choice not to act. Today's act of power was sweeping a floor I've used and walked for 8 years. I have pictures of our kitchen from various remodeling projects and family gatherings that show a slow age begin to creep onto the rose veined hardwoods under foot. Just inside the back door and under the breakfast countertop I can see that the dirt hangs in the scratches a bit more and the luster is just plain gone. Most of the floor is just fine, but I can see where I haven't been monitoring my housekeeping and each time I sweep or mop I notice yet another scratch. These minute crevices arrive in my flooring largely because over the course of our lives here I have avoided sweeping until I absolutely couldn’t stand it or someone was coming over to visit. Each time I let the fine particles accumulate I provided a fine sanding tool underfoot. Imagine strapping sanding blocks to your family's feet and telling them to cook breakfast. Are you cringing yet?

Are they there for wearing? Yes. Are they supposed to be tough and keep up with my family? Yes. Do my floors meet these criteria? Yes. If my floors weren’t particularly sturdy I’d be researching new flooring instead of considering the investment potential! Truthfully, I have looked at new floors and that process inspires this kind of contemplation in anyone. Several thousand dollars worth of new carpeting or hardwood / bamboo floors created a new appreciation for my “original flooring” and the “well-loved” patterns that make my home so comfortable. At least, that’s how I saw it just after the sticker shock of the new ecologically friendly bamboo flooring wears off.

So – I sweep. I sweep with more gusto now and perhaps a little more thoroughly than in prior years. Certainly I sweep more often. I have the idea that I’m lovingly and gently brushing away the pieces of hard scratchy stuff that is silently, slowly wearing away at the home I maintain.